“Negative relationships are unpleasant but predictable.” – Adam Grant, Author, Originals: How Non-Conformists Change the World
Very true! Relationships are predictable. You’d always know whether you are happily in love with each other or not. However, many couples do not realise this. They think that their relationship is normal and healthy. There are subtle signs which indicate if your marriage is experiencing a few speed bumpers or is on a completely wrong track. These issues are small but, over time, it can result in your marriage fall apart. How are you going to identify the red signs? Over here, we have discussed 5 signs to help you identify whether you are stuck in an unhealthy marriage or not:
1. You are Keeping Secrets from your spouse
Are you withholding information from your better half? Do you erase your text messages, call history or browsing history so that your spouse couldn’t check it? Keeping secrets is a sign of growing disconnection. When you lose connection with your spouse, you connect yourself with something else. You might find it normal to withhold certain information from your partner but, these secrets later create rifts in the relationship.
2. You do not Open up about your feelings
Do you find yourself withholding your opinion fearing that your partner will react? If yes, then this is a sign of unhealthy marriage. Every relationship faces challenges and marriage is not different. If you do not talk about the problems with your partner, tensions will brew resulting in increasing distance. Communication is the key to intimacy. Giving an honest opinion over an issue helps the couple to understand each other’s perspective. It helps the couple to know each other. Leaving things unsaid is not a solution to problems.
3. Both of you engage in blame game
Blaming each other over small issues is a sign that your marriage is heading towards a dead end. In his book “Don’t Bury an Ailing Marriage: It’s Not Too Late to Resuscitate!” author and psychologist Don D. Campbell notes that “unhappy people tend to blame their unhappy feelings on their unhappy marriages. When you are unhappy, it’s easy to catch the Blame Game Virus and to start blaming your spouse for the unhappy state in which you find yourself.” In such case, you can seek stress management therapy. This will help you manage stress and improve your relationships.
4. The relationship is focused on kids
Do kids dominate your discussions and activities? Do you rarely share a”we-time” with your partner? If yes, then this is yet another sign of unhealthy marriage. When your eyes are always fixed on the kids, the couples eventually become complete strangers.
5. Both of you are seeking distractions
Do you always stay late at work? Or look for reasons to avoid getting home early? Is your partner always keeping himself/herself busy with other work? If your answer to most of the questions is yes, then it’s a sign of unhealthy marriage. In that case, remove the distractions and get connected with him/her.
These tips will help you identify whether your marriage is in crisis or not. If you’re searching for stress management therapy, then get in touch with us. Our experts will help you in dealing with stress, thereby improving your relationships and overall well-being. To get in touch with us, contact us here
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